Where are they now? - Lena Heilmann

Growing up in Niwot together, Lena Heilmann and her late sister Danielle developed a close relationship from a young age that held strong into their early adult years. The two spent their childhood summers together in Germany with extended family, and Lena said she even referred to Danielle, who was four years younger, as her "soulmate sister."

After completing a double major at the University of Colorado Boulder in 2006 and a Masters in German Studies in 2008, Lena began her doctorate studies in Germanics at the University of Washington in Seattle, where Danielle was an undergraduate studying German and Economics. Danielle, however, struggled with increasingly severe post-traumatic stress disorder while at Washington.

"Because I was in Seattle, it was such a gift because I could be there with her and help navigate two years of increasing crisis for her," said Lena, a 2003 Niwot High School graduate. "But (it was) also challenging because we were together in Seattle and I was seeing her really struggle and try to access resources and just how difficult it was."

Danielle graduated from Washington and moved to Germany but her PTSD only worsened. She soon came back to Niwot and was taking computer science classes at CU Boulder when she died by suicide late in 2012.

Still in Seattle working on her PhD, Lena was "shattered" by the devastating loss and returned home to grieve with her family alongside a supportive Niwot community.

"I flew home and our neighbors, our community, family friends, elementary school teachers, doctors, Girl Scouts, family members, everyone that we had ever interacted with in our life held us as a family in this really intense grief," Lena said.

It took time, of course, for Lena to process the loss. She managed to complete her Ph.D. while living in Niwot and took an assistant visiting professor job at Knox College in Illinois, but she soon began questioning the direction of her life.

"It just felt like I was living a life that I would have been living if my sister had been alive," Lena said. "In 2016, after two years of teaching, I said I can't do this anymore. I need to take my grief and my connection to a grieving community and my love and my loss of my sister and I need to do suicide prevention. I don't know what that is, I don't know what it entails, but I need to do that."

With the help of the Niwot community, she immersed herself into the field of suicide prevention, becoming a Mental Health First Aid Trainer, a youth suicide prevention coordinator with the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment (CDPHE), a board member of the Suicide Prevention Coalition of Colorado, and a member of the Hope Coalition of Boulder County.

Lena also reached out to fellow sibling suicide loss survivors and edited a book, "Still With Us: Voices of Sibling Suicide Loss Survivors," which entails the stories of 23 people - including Lena's own - dealing with the difficulty of losing a sibling to suicide. The feedback from the book has been "overwhelmingly positive," Lena said.

"Reading these stories of people who were 10, 15, 20, 30 years out made me realize that long-term survivors of suicide loss find joy in their lives, find purpose and meaning and continue to grieve and love and honor their lost siblings," Lena said. "That was what I needed to read to do a really big piece of my healing."

Currently, Lena leads a team of 10 people as the CDPHE's Office of Suicide Prevention Director. While she acknowledges that suicide is a complex issue, the program hopes to provide support to people far in advance of them potentially feeling suicidal and for people who are suicidal, help them connect to the best resources.

"I don't want people to feel alone," Lena said. "I want people to know that if they are struggling, if they are feeling suicidal, that they have a community, they have communities, they have the resources that they need to get through that crisis situation."

At the end of the day, Lena's passion for the work remains fueled by her late sister.

"The work I do is in honor of my sister, Danielle," Lena said. "She is the reason I care so deeply about this work, and my ultimate goal in life is to make this the world she deserved to have lived in."

If you or someone you know is in need of support, please contact the Colorado Crisis and Support Line at 1-844-493-TALK (8255) or text "TALK" to 38255 or go to www.coloradocrisisservices.org to access chat. Help and hope are available 24/7/365.