Let's Talk About...High School Reunions

Ok. Have you gone to any of your high school reunions? You know, where you reconnect and reminisce with old friends? I just got back from mine in California where I saw people I hadn't seen for 35 years.

In the days prior to the event, I was filled with anticipation, excitement, and a bit of anxiety. I was really looking forward to seeing people who were a big part of those formative years. And let's be honest, I wanted to look good.

We need to unpack this a bit.

Let's start with why I decided to go this year after declining to attend for so many. Well, three things.

First, I wanted to see my old dear friend Steve Luther. We were co-editors of the yearbook. Back then, I was a bit of a nerd and he was a very popular, creative, funny cheerleader. Yet, despite assumptions to the contrary, we became very close and were both very excited to see each other again. I would describe our reunion as "joyful."

Second, I wanted to visit my brother and his family who live nearby the venue in California.

And the hook: I figured, if not now, then when?

So, I RSVP'd "yes," gave a ridiculous amount of thought to what I should wear, got my hair done, my nails done, applied a bit more anti-wrinkle cream to my face every night for the two weeks prior, and just did it.

You probably are familiar with big reunions in a hotel ballroom with music, dancing, beautifully considered dresses and suits, polished shoes and a lot of heartfelt speakers, videos and what I like to call "programming."

Well, this was not one of those events.

This reunion was held at a sports bar in a mini-mall in a Long Beach suburb (yes, a suburb of a suburb). The suggested "donation" entitled us to enjoy a no-host bar, no-host kitchen, no photographer, no "programming" (except for a touching "In Memoriam" Steve Luther put together with far too many faces on the screen), and nowhere to sit.

Let's review. I arrived two days early to enjoy the beach, my family and have a wonderful two-hour lunch with Steve. It was as if we hadn't been apart for 35 years. We fell into sync, sharing our stories and humor and just enjoying being together again.

Yes, we both looked older but after the immediate worry when you spot each other across the room, "Is that her? She looks old," it was as if we had been best friends all these years instead of separated by careers, raising families, losing parents, health issues and the specter of retirement. How did so much time go by so fast?

So, as you can imagine, I spent too much time the afternoon of the reunion on my hair and makeup (to no avail--humidity will do what it likes with this mop). My brother, who is one year older so he knew many of the kids in my class, picked me up and off we went. I won't lie, we had a quick pre-game cocktail before setting out to a mini-mall in Los Alamitos.

We walked in and I thought, "I sure hope they have name tags. I don't recognize anyone!" The women behind the welcome table acted as if they knew me. I think I knew them. I figured it was 50-50 either way.

The place was packed. Lots of people. Lots of OLD people. Who were all my age.

Soon, I saw several people I knew. My graduating class was about 957 people, so this was a win. I had hoped to talk about high school and Mr. Gunning's class and all the fun we had. As a matter of fact, I told one woman who was a beautiful cheerleader in high school that I remember being so intimidated by her back then. Her response was, basically, "Well, yes."

No, the conversations soon turned to hip replacements, cataracts (I was assured surgery is a miracle), grandchildren and the inevitable retirement question: When will it happen and what are you going to do with all that time? That is like asking a young mother what she is going to do with all that spare time when her child first goes to school. Ridiculous question. We will be going to doctors appointments, of course.

I saw old friends from math class, and the yearbook staff and English class. I got to see where I came from–what my life could have been like–and realized how many good choices I made over the years.

Of course, the main question everyone asks me now is, "How did everyone look?"

Well, a dim sports bar is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it is dim so you look better than you really do. A curse because it is dim, and you can't really see faces clearly or read name tags. So, I nodded and smiled at people I wasn't sure of and hoped they would say hello. It worked for the most part. Either because of the blur or despite the blur, everyone looked reasonably good for being old. The fingerprints of a long life were evident on many faces, and yet, on others, not so much.

But here is my conclusion about the issue of appearance: Boys think they look better than they do, while girls look better than they think.

Lots of hugs, a few reminiscences, a walk around the room and then a nod at my brother and we said our goodbyes.

Reunions are fun. You get to revisit your former self. But nothing beats a two-hour lunch with an old friend.