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Articles from the April 1, 2017 edition


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  • Boulder County scientist makes breakthrough (FAKE NEWS)

    Jay James, [email protected]|Apr 1, 2017

    Jeremy Tapps, a researcher who operates from a lab in his south Longmont basement, has made a discovery that has turned the scientific world upside down. Tapps’ work has found that what we know as the “periodic table of elements” is — in fact — not periodic at all. “Whether you believe in the ‘Big Bang’ or creationism, no one can deny that these elements have existed since the beginning of the universe,” Tapps said. “It’s as plain as day, and somewhat shocking that we haven’t realized this...

  • Twin Lakes drained (FAKE NEWS)

    Warren Piece, [email protected]|Apr 1, 2017

    Taking a page from national politics, the Bolder County Bored of County Commissioners (BOCC) has approved a Parks and Open Space (POS) Department suggestion to “drain the swamp.” The move comes on the heels of the Planning Commission’s (PC) rejection of a proposal to change the Bolder County Comprehensive Plan (BCCP) in a way that would have allowed higher density housing in the area. When the memo, obtained by the Twin Lakes Owl Group (TLOG) through an open records request, first was disco...

  • Translation error uncovered (FAKE NEWS)

    Pretty B. Jeremy, [email protected]|Apr 1, 2017

    A cross-disciplinary research effort by a number of professors at the University of Colorado-Boulder and Colorado State University has uncovered a surprising mistake in the translation of the Arapaho language. The Arapaho word “niwot” or “nowoo3” in the Hinono’ei language, which has long been thought to mean “left-hand,” turns out to instead be correctly translated as “right-hand.” A similar (but never corrected) error occurred in the middle ages when priests were told to be “celibate” when l...

  • APEX homeschool program sees steady growth

    Jennifer Simms, [email protected]|Apr 1, 2017

    “We know you’re guilty.” Fourth grader Eden Zenz and her classmates accuse Kim Lancaster, director of St. Vrain’s APEX Homeschool Enrichment Program, the moment she walks into their Literature Detectives class in the sanctuary of Vinelife Church in Gunbarrel. The students are using clues prepared by their teacher to solve a whodunit as part of their unit on the novel Chasing Vermeer. Their list of suspects includes Lancaster and several other APEX staff. This scene is much like a typical...