Stimulus Package Offers Set-Asides For Diagonal Highway

By Nellie Nibnose
NellieN@lhvc.com

If anyone thinks there’s no such thing as buried treasure, just wait 18 months or so. Buried deep within the recesses of the recently signed stimulus package is a bit of gold for reconstruction of the Diagonal Highway that will be a boon to state road construction, real estate lawyers and developers.

In this case, one could say TARPE means Totally Appropriate Real Property Exchange. This bit of government set-asides will make TDRs (transferable development rights) and carbon credits look like monopoly money.

About 15 years ago, some Vail boosters proposed creating more land for development while keeping Vail views for Vail residents by covering I-70 and building condos on the new land mass.

In the vein of never let a bad idea die, some of the funds for redeveloping the Diagonal and Hwy. 52 exchange have been reallocated and will be spent on lowering the Diagonal’s grade, creating a tunnel between Hwy. 52 and 83rd Street, and putting the traffic in the tunnel. And yes, there are plans to develop the new land.

In the spirit of the stimulus package, the project is expected to add to the employment ranks with state and county engineers, subcontractors and state highway patrol being the primary beneficiaries. But since the land is being reclaimed so to speak, there’s the unintended benefit to area developers too.

The land covering the tunnel was actually platted as part of Old Town Niwot in 1875. All of the old buildings were removed when the Diagonal was built in the 1960s and 1970s, but local developer T.D. Wright believes the original lots can be resurrected, without having to go through a new subdivision process with Boulder County.

Wright is trying to acquire quitclaim deeds from everyone who owned part of the original Niwot town site before selling the property to the Colorado Highway Department to make room for the Diagonal Highway. He thinks the development rights would revert back to the owners who were forced to sell to make room for the highway.

“I guess we won’t be able to put in basements over the tunnel,” Wright said, “but the old school house was pretty tall, so we should be grandfathered in as far as height limits go.”

Niwot will no longer be “built out.” As one anonymous Niwot city council person put it, “It’s a win-win situation. Highways are funded, county employees are put to work and developers can develop. And the new buildings will create incentives for developers and create more demand for water taps, gas and sanitation lines and trash collection.”

But not everyone was pleased with this entire proposal. Historic preservation advocates were perplexed. “Maybe we should make them go round up all the buildings that were moved somewhere else, and move them back,” Lee V. Malone said.

“But I’m not sure if I want it back to the 1916 look, or the 1940 look, or with new windows, or with energy efficient windows, or with coal burning furnaces, or wood-burning fireplaces. I guess we can decide on a case by case by case basis.”

Pro-environment/anti-development proponent Butterfly McGreen said, “It might be okay. I mean it will put the area back to what it was like before the Diagonal was built. Well, except for all the houses. But, with a few windmills, compost piles, solar panels and using the heat generated by all those subterranean cars, not to mention possibly FasTracks, to power the community, it might be environmentally possible.”

 

Photos courtesy of C-DUPE

Pictured above is the current photo of the Niwot Park and Ride station, and, above right, C-DUPE’s (Colorado Department of Property Excavation) rendering of what a development might look like if a portion of the Diagonal was subterranean. Separate set-asides are possible for burying the BSNF railroad tracks as well as the proposed Northwestern Corridor of FasTracks.

 

 

Grange Gets Boost From Starbucks

By Kitty Raccooni
KittyR@lhvc.com

Long anticipated restoration work on Niwot’s historic Left Hand Grange Hall is slated to begin in April, thanks to a last minute infusion of funds from international superstar Starbucks Coffee.

“This is just what we needed, and just in time,” said Grange official Lorinda Lebowsky, who has been spearheading fundraising efforts and soliciting grant money for the much needed building repairs. “It was a long shot, appealing to [Starbucks CEO] Howard Schultz for a donation, but it paid off.”

While Schultz declined to give an outright donation to the fund, he did agree to “partner” with the Grange and infuse $100,000 into the project “to establish a presence in Niwot,” noting that the nearest Starbucks location is 4.5 miles away, inside the King Soopers on S. Hover Rd. in Longmont.

“This was a gross oversight on the company’s part,” said Schultz, who apologized for overlooking bedroom communities such as Niwot for so long in favor of saturating urban landscapes. “Past executives have ignored the people of the heartland at their own peril. Now that I’m back at the helm I vow to give back to the small towns of America.”

To that end Schultz agreed to supplement the Grange restoration efforts with the addition of a Starbucks drive-through location attached to the old red firehouse behind the Grange, so as “not to diminish the historic status of the main building” during its restoration. In addition to the drive-through, Starbucks intends to breathe some life into flagging sales, resurrect a bit of Niwot’s past, and introduce a new line of beverages to be sold only at a proposed second story speakeasy in the Grange Hall.

“The upstairs was outfitted with peep-hole doors back in the day to accommodate private clubs just like this,” said  Lebowsky. “And, although the Grange doesn’t allow alcoholic beverages on the premises, I’m sure whatever Starbucks is planning on concocting in those bathtubs they’ve ordered will be well received by the Grangers.”

Current members of the Left Hand Grange No. 9 receive complimentary memberships to the club, named Starbreasy. It will be open from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. Mondays through Saturdays upon completion of building restorations.

By making Starbreasy a private club, the owners and operators sidestep most of the state and county ordinances, thus permitting smoking, gambling, and other less-than-usual activities on the premises, Lebowsky said.

“Like all of our Starbucks stores, Starbreasy will be a place where people go to seek refuge and a break,” said Schultz. “With the new Niwot store we’ll simply kick it up a notch. And with only members allowed through the doors, people can really relax and let their hair down – or whatever else they want -- on our new rooftop deck!”

Admission to Starbreasy is open only to members of Left Hand Grange No. 99. Annual dues have been raised to $495 to accommodate the changes.

 

Illegal Children In Niwot; Laws Unenforced?

By Don Nac Urrie
DonNac@lhvc.com

In what was described as “a typographical error of monumental proportions,” children have apparently been banned within the city limits of Niwot.

It all began as a misguided bid for attention, according to one Niwot City Council member who wished to remain anonymous. “It’s like no one knows we exist,” he said. “We just wanted to get some interest in the council – get a few people to show up at our meetings, even if they’re just there to protest.”

After all the conversation about legislating backyard barnyards in Longmont, the Niwot City Council members followed suit, hatching a plan to generate publicity for themselves by proposing to allow chickens in Niwot residential areas.

Debate at council meetings went on and on, with the council dragging its feet over making a decision in the hopes that national media would pick up on the story. Alas, the Longmont news overshadowed the Niwot debate, and the council couldn’t even bribe out-of-work Rocky reporters to come to council meetings.

“We went and knocked on the door of the Niwot Tribune downtown, but no one answered,” one council member said. “We taped a note on the door, in case a reporter stopped by…but in retrospect, that note could have gone anywhere given the windstorms we’ve had.”

Even the council got bored with the debate and finally took a vote. “We decided that if we banned chickens, it would at least get the attention of the 4H kids in town. So we banned the birds or so we thought.”

The council’s next error was in hiring a temp to type the text. “’Hiring” may not be the correct word,” the councilmember suggested, suddenly feeling a need for precision. “You see, we’ve got no budget. We couldn’t pay anyone, so we called the school to get a volunteer.”

The council intended on asking for an honor student who needed some community service hours, but the council member admitted that he might have called the wrong number.

“Instead of an honor student, we ended up with a parolee who needed to work off some of his sentence,” the council member said, looking just a bit sheepish. No one on the council noticed the difference. “We thought the orange jumpsuit was some new fashion.”

The parolee dutifully spent an afternoon typing the text of the new ordinance. “When we looked at the text, it was riddled with the squiggly red underlines that you get when something is misspelled,” the councilmember explained. “It was too much to change one at a time, so we let the spell-check fix it all automatically.”

In one click of a mouse, “chilkrens” became “children” and the rest, as they say, is history. “Maybe this will get us the attention we deserve,” the councilmember said. “There’s only so much we can do, meeting in alleyways and working without any budget.”

As for whether the new ordinance will be enforced, the Niwot Chief of Police, Barnaby Pheif said, “We’ve got enough to do without being the grammar police, too. These guys are a joke. That’s all there is to it. They’re a joke.”