Remember Buttercup’s song of warning before divulging the baby swapping in Gilbert and Sullivan’s “H.M.S. Pinafore”?  “Things are seldom what they seem.  Skim milk masquerades as cream.”  Nothing so nefarious here.  But it’s April--time for some good-natured fun with food. 

What will the kids say when you take salmon from the dishwasher fully cooked?  Will they continue eating the mock mashed potatoes after they discover it’s cauliflower?  Or will you have to mix in some real spuds to please (fool) their palates?  How will a dessert of French fries with ketchup go over?  You know, the kind made with pound cake strips and raspberry puree. 

Hey, it’s April.  Have fun.  There’s more than one way to play with your food. 

Dishwasher Salmon 

Adapted from  <www.surrealgourmet.com>

This is not an urban legend.  It is a great way to “poach” salmon without having to wash a pot.  Serve with your favorite sauce, or for simplicity, just spoon on a salsa before serving.  For an elegant party presentation do as my friend, Lois, does-poach a whole salmon, putting it through two or three cycles.

4 6-oz. salmon fillets
4 tab. fresh lemon juice
salt, pepper, and/or seasoning “rub”
Heavy-duty foil

Cut 4 12” squares of foil.  Put two fillets side by side on each set of two sheets (a double layer).  Turn up sides.  Sprinkle on lemon juice.  Season.  Seal packets by double folding and pinching tightly to ensure a watertight seal.  Test by pressing gently.  If air escapes, rewrap. 

Put on top rack of dishwasher.  Run through the “normal” cycle, including heat dry.  An equally easy, equally tasty, and, yes, more practical method: bake at 400° for 15 minutes.

Cauliflower Puree – aka Mock Mashers 
Adapted from <www.newcreations.net>

Serve these without announcing their provenance.  Guests or family might not think they’re potatoes, but they’ll be puzzled and probably pleased.

1 head cauliflower, in florets
1 1/2 heads garlic, cloves peeled
1 onion, thickly sliced
1/4-cup sour cream
1/4-cup butter
pepper, cayenne
Steam, bake or roast veggies until very soft.  Puree with sour cream, butter and seasonings 

Dessert “Fries and Ketchup”
Adapted from <www.surrealgourmet.com>
Bob Blumer, the surreal gourmet, serves these in a fast food fries container, but a cup will serve almost as well. 

Pound Cake “Fries”
1 loaf pound cake, crust trimmed
 Cut lengthwise into 1/4” slices.  Cut slices into 1/4” strips.  Trim to 4“ or 5” lengths--fry size. Bake at 350° on sheet pan for about 12 minutes, until browned on top and bottom.  Turn and bake about five more minutes until the other two sides are browned.  Cool and arrange standing in a cup or bowl. 

Raspberry “Ketchup”
12 oz frozen raspberries (or 2 cups fresh)
water
up to 2 tab. powdered sugar
lemon juice 
1 empty ketchup squeeze 
bottle

Puree raspberries with a few tablespoons of water if necessary.  Add sugar to taste, until berries are pleasantly tart.  Add a few drops of lemon juice if necessary. 

With a spoon or rubber spatula push puree through a strainer.  Discard seeds and put puree in squeeze bottle.  Serve alongside “fries”.