A heated race is developing in Boulder County for the little-known position of Prairie Dog Warden.  Frank Bushytale has held that position for many years.  County Commissioner Ron Stewardship appointed Bushytale during his first term.  ”I think he is doing a splendid job and I hope the voters keep him on,” Stewartship told the Courier recently. 
     The last election cycle has cast doubt on the commissioner’s wish.  The Prairie Dog Warden post was changed to an elected position and Bushytale already has an aggressive opponent, Calvin Rodentsky, who is running under the slogan “Rodensky for Rodentia.” 
     Editors Note: Rodentia is the biological name for the prairie dog family.
     Rodensky is a spokesperson for the environmental community in Boulder County, which is particularly angered by the county’s removal tactics in relocating prairie dog colonies.  “That company they use, ‘Suck Them Suckers’ (out of your back yard), Rodensky claims, “uses cruel and inhumane methods.  The colony cannot reproduce after the trauma induced by Suck Them’s relocation machinery.” 

 An Expert Opinion
     The Courier interviewed an independent expert in the field, Dr. August Jenna-Talia, of S & M, Inc.  He is the current occupant of the libidinous Professor of Reproductive Biology Chair at CSU. 
     From the time he was a small child, Dr. Jenna-Talia has been interested in reproduction in small, dark places.  He was born and spent his early childhood in Transgender, a small country in the Balkans.  We recently interviewed him in his office under the stadium seating at CSU.  He still speaks with a charming East European accent.
     “Ven dey reproduce, dey do it very quickly and den you get a very large copulation,” Jenna-Talia excitedly explained.  “Dey like dark places.  I try to get in der to see vats going on, how dey do it so quickly, but it’s so small and dark and dirty.  Von day the secret of the Cynomys Ludovicianus (prairie dog) vill be revealed.” 
     With this comment, the good doctor sighed heavily and his eyes became misty.  His voice gradually became a low mumble and his gaze moved to the empty football scoreboard, which was partially visible between two stadium seats just outside his one small window.  I slipped quietly out of his office and closed the door.
     The incumbent Bushytale lives on the family farm in the NE/SW corner of Boulder County.  The farm, known as Bushytale Trail, was homesteaded by his great-grandfather, A. Long Bushytale in the 1840s.  Long Bushytale earned his passage from the east coast by following a wagon train west with a shovel, clearing the trail. 
     We decided to interview Bushytale on his farm.  A gravel road leads west off the interstate, about an hour north or south of Niwot.  On the far side of the white picket fence are gently rolling fields, abundant with prairie dogs.  The two-story family home has a wrap-around porch on all four sides.  The circular entry drive encompasses the entire building, making it especially difficult to locate the front door.  During my third circumnavigation I noticed Bushytale sitting in a rocker on the porch and stopped. 
     “We run kind of a different spread,” Bushytale explained, greeting me. “Mostly we raise Jack Rabbits and Bob Whites.” 
     I was born and raised in the big city and know little about farming, but this sounded unusual, so I asked about his choice of livestock.  “It’s real easy at roundup time,” Bushytale explained.  “I just come out here on the porch and yell ‘Here Jack, Here Jack’, and the rabbits come a runnin’, real easy.” 
     “And the Bob Whites?”  I asked.  “I guess you open the barn door and call...” 
     Before I could finish my sentence Bushytale did.  “Yup, I just call, ‘Here birdie, here birdie’ and they fly into the barn. 
     “The Prairie Dog Warden should be a professional position.  It should not be political,” Frank opined, returning to the purpose of my visit.  “This is a throwback to the Old West, like electing the sheriff in a cowboy movie.” 
     Frank explained that he was highly qualified for the position.  “I’ve been doing it for 20 years.  I can tell on the trail if it was a blackfooted ferret or a prairie dog by the fecal matter left behind.  I’ll bet Rodensky couldn’t sniff that out.
     “And that relocation stuff.  Why, they love that great big suction machine, it’s like a ride on the cyclone for them.  Suck Them Suckers knows how to do it right.” 
Bushytale explained that he started to relocate animals after a stint as a relocation agent in real estate.  “I tried, but people were hard to talk to, the kitchen was too small, the yard too big.  They were never satisfied.  The prairie dogs,” Frank emphasized, “they love me. I’m their best option.”
     As I was leaving, Bushytale offered me a copy of his great-grandmother’s favorite recipe, Prairie Dog Stew.  “It’s just wonderful,” he told me. “But don’t forget to pick the fleas from the fur before cooking.” 

Bushytale is offering the recipe to anyone who promises to votes for him.  Just send a SASE to Bushtale Trail Farm, Anywhere NE/SW CO 89503-0666-5440-0888-8880.  If you would like to contact Bushytale at the ranch you can call him at 720-Dog stew (720-374-7839).