BoCo HARD Takes to Streets

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Boulder County Homeowners Against Road Deterioration, or BoCo HARD, a citizen group organized to respond to deteriorating subdivision roads in Boulder County, organized a street repair project April 1st in hopes of obtaining $1,000,000 from the county.

BoCo HARD organizer Charlie Wannabe gathered a group of 311 homeowners from the Boulder Country Club area of unincorporated Boulder County, armed with shovels, sand, water and cement, to repair some of the worst of the subdivision roads.

“We need a concrete solution to this problem,” Wannabe said. “The County Commissioners have promised $1,000,000 to property owners who voluntarily assumed responsibility for repair of subdivision roads, and we’d like to get our hands on that money.”

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5280-High Skydivers Clutter Rural Character of Area Air Space

Danger in the Skies or Harmless Weekend Activities?

Courier Readers Want to Know

Remember you can only read this in the Left Hand Valley Courier.

Editor’s Note: In the kind of hard-hitting investigative reporting that the Courier is known for, our crackerjack journalist team, Olive Martini and Nellie Nibnose, uncovered how Boulder County plans to handle the abundance of paragliders and ultra-light aircraft that have invaded the otherwise peaceful county skies. While Martini documents the ever-increasing numbers of humans who hurl themselves out of aircraft, Nibnose has uncovered how the county plans to handle where these daredevils land and how that would affect local prairie dog colonies.

Area skydiving out of Vance Bend Municipal Airport in Longmont has grown in such popularity that the parachutes (and the men and women attached to them) have begun to “clutter the rural character” of unincorporated Boulder County skies, according to a county-issued press release.

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The TDR Deal of the Decade Possible

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In what can only be described as the deal of the decade, Mickey Mackerel has inked the TDR (Transferable Development Right) agreement to end all TDR agreements with Boulder County. Mackerel, who is looking to finish off his Niwot Mound subdivision, has swapped these rights for the open space on the east side of 71st Street in Gunbarrel.

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Dear Eleanor Sequel Optioned by Mystery Producer

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Dear Eleanor sequel, Dear Abigail, is a roman à clef featuring twin advice columnists on a road trip in search of the first lady of abstract expressionism, Peggy Guggenheim. When Leonardo DiCaprio passed on this second-round indie flick, industry insiders worried the movie would never get made. But fears were put to rest last summer when a man, who said he was looking to put his small town on the map, stepped forward, funding the whole shebang for about $1,700.

The movie’s a mad-cap, cross-country adventure set in the 1940s and reveals the coming of age of two of the country’s premier (and as yet, undiscovered) advice columnists, as they learn the tools of the trade—such as active listening and the use of “I” statements. They meet a stream of con artists and men on the make while driving with the top down against the backdrop of unincorporated Boulder County’s verdant fields and light-industrial commercial developments.  

Movie highlights include the more competitive twin getting locked in a grand piano, plus plenty of scenes that find the would-be columnists in area brew pubs (known back then as taverns or public houses), where they hone their advice-giving chops with the scores of inebriated newlyweds they meet, in addition to parents of teenagers. As viewers, you’ll learn valuable skills such as how to say “no” to people like your really pushy friend, Debbie.

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Area Man Overheard Challenging Pole

 

A local man was overheard “using a raised voice,” and challenging a totem pole to “step outside.” The incident occurred in the historic downtown neighborhood of Niwot last week. It’s unclear what the disagreement was about, or whether the man or the pole rose victorious in the incident’s aftermath. The face at the top of the totem pole, it was said, appeared calmer an hour or so following the skirmish.

FB Guru Advises NBA

Niwot Business Association (NBA) members invited local porcine social-media celebrity, Winston the Pig to their March meeting. Speaking to the assembled about Facebook likes, click-through rates, comment threads and community engagement, Winston held forth for two hours, while business owners took copious notes. 

With camera at the ready, Winston suggested “snuffling in a bucket of slops or rolling around in a pile of wet mud mixed with yard waste.” He said that pictures taken while enjoying such activities would improve business owners’ “cuteness quotient,” a phrase coined by the erudite media hound, or rather, boar.

“We’re so grateful he came out to speak to us, because, let’s be frank, he’s bringing home the bacon and we can all use some of his chops,” said NBA president Antonio Santiago, looking with interest at the pig’s flank.

For several minutes the discussion veered off topic, with the pig waxing nostalgic for a recent meal that featured a bowl of oatmeal, a half a bagel, three cold French fries, a waffle with jam, two cups of expired milk and a half slice of toast (buttered). He reminisced that such a meal would be “enough to get you super charged for a day of lying on a pile of manure in a sun spot.” Several business owners grunted in agreement. 

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Public Input Sought for Prairie Dog Crossing

In an effort to create a more open dialogue between Boulder County officials and the electorate, the county is seeking public input as to how they want the recently proposed prairie dog crossing to look.

The Courier has agreed to aid the county by collecting all suggestions. Readers are encouraged to send drawings, written descriptions or their own photos to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. In case anyone is unaware of how the underpass looks prior to the improvements, see the photo on left.

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